Love you, sigh.

Doing it

I'm walking. My feet aren't hurting too badly. When they do, I know it's time to walk. I received some great insights last night for critical memoir of my life, putting the slices all together. Thank God that they are all fitting into place. That's the main thing. And I believe in harmony. We might not like the pieces, but God is a God of order, and eventually our lives do make sense. The most we can, any one of us, can do is hope for the best, yes, but also try and make the best ... karma. And fear God and obey him. Keep our egos out of it as much as possible.

I'm making some jewelry for an ex- by my standards at least enemy. Hope to give it to him and a piece for his wife. Show my turn around. Gee, repentance? Sure, my inner voice says. I'll have to meditate it on the way home.

Bye.

Att last

broke through my 2 article a day wall. I did three today. plus a lot of work on house i'm buying. good day. tired now. i stopped into panera bread because my ankle started to hurt on the way home. don't need that. i'm hoping a rest will do it the justice it needs. writing though is a pleasure.

I'm behind, and sore

Years ago, I was in a car accident. Yes, my assbone got broken. Now, these many years later, it's sore when the weather changes, or I sit too long writing at my laptop. This is a problem, not lately, though, because I haven't been able to concentrate long enough to sit too long to write too long.

I wonder what your problems are, dear reader. Remember when you read a book and you were addressed DEAR reader. Well, everone I talked to so far has been a dear whether they liked it or not. There aren't any true ones, or close ones in my life, so an abundance is in place of the few.

God, I feel bad.

Just got a book mark with the text lingo on it so I can stay in the groove. This is what my parents used to laugh about around their kids, ignoring us, yeah, but now, I don't even have them. At least I don't have a memory that will remember this either. Ha!

Things I'm reading

I'm reading The God Particle, The Book Of Ruth, Minerals of the World, and misc. bio sketches of musicians on the internet.

Days of fear and trembling.

Things go on, but I feel that the hurricane is filtering through the country and stopping in to say hello all across the nation. I'm up here north of Pittsburgh and many people are without power. We were (man, I am grateful to be able to type in we here today) at a truckstop yesterday, when the lights went out for a good 40 minutes. We heard today that across the strret, someone took ten gallons of gas, poured it on himself, and lit it.

There's something about the darkness.
But there was a full moon, you say.
Well, it must have been the branches snapping and flying in the wind.
Maybe he was tired of that razor cutting his stomach muscles.
Did he die?
The informer didn't know, and life appears the same here in hooteyville, podunk, usa.

sallying along in a liquid boat of tears

Maye not that bad, but this awful sadness overtakes me when I realize how alone I am in this world. I'm not feeling sorry for myself I protest to an unnamed accuser. Why? Because I've been trained to believe that people should treat each other kindly, if at all possibly.

I know that there are a lot of reasons why people don't, and a lot of life is made up of making excuses for people. Like, for instance, why hasn't so and so called back, or responded to the e-mail, or whatever, and for years there is an excuse, or lots of them You smile politely after a while, not expecting much. Then you breeze through, with nary a thought for them, or so you hope they think. Eventually the loss settles in your throat down to your toes, and all is gone.

In high high school, this meant I began to smoke pot, swear and hang out in the park. Eventually, my hangout was the cemetary. Me, my beer, and a notebook. But that was a long time ago.

I've learned to cope much better now. I wouldn't say with the help of friends, or, I would, cause I've always loved that Beatle song, and, maybe they were deep friends for the moments, summers or falls that it took, but I've grown since high school. With a little help from my friends.

I'm sitting with one now. In a cafe, waiting for the live music to begin. While my family of birth calmly and quietly assures me once again that I'll never be part of them. Oh well. No use breezing in to say hello anymore, you know?....













m

"Someone asked me to help him write an article about knives.
I wonder if he intends to pay me.
He probably does. He has a girl friend."

Upon reflection, I really need to work on work and self-esteem.

Rita

I'm having a tough time.

Man, I wonder if, mathematically, if you measured the good times against the bad times, which ever they were, if they would be equal. I've wondered this before. You guessed it. I never wonder this when I'm feeling good, or if I do, it's just as though I were glancing through a window, and the breeze were glancing through as well: i.e., no problem.

How are you, my unnamed friends out there, I hope? Illusions are better than nothing at all.

Rita

first post

O.K. I'm sallying. I decided to start giving instead of always taking, but it's a little embarrassing. I'm self-conscious. I see an image of myself in the screen as I type. I really hope I'll forget myself. Don't you?

I was walking yesterday trying hard to work the creak out of my two left toes, wondering if there was anything I could do to prolong my youthful vigor. I'm trying this. Giving, keeping the current of life flowing in me.

I've been writing an e-book on the foot for a yoga teacher. In the process I've research the fascia system. It's marvelous. It's inside, throughout and deep inside as the structure of the body. I think it's where the qi is, the life force, the ki, the prana, or whatever else you want to call it. Elan vitale, energia. In acupuncture, the theory is that calcium crystals block the flow of this energy throughout the body. Walking has always released energy for me. This is why I haven't done it sometimes, because I couldn't deal with the emotions that came up afterwards. Anyhow, my plan is to release this blockage in my body by walking and send it out into the universe through this blog.

Happy reading. I hope you can use some of this in some way. All best.

Rita